Noémie Gagnon-Bergeron – Is Mediation Right for Me? Published July 18, 2025.
When families face the turmoil of a separation, many assume the only way forward is through the courts. But in British Columbia, mediation offers an effective and often more constructive alternative. At our firm, we frequently recommend mediation as a way to resolve disputes respectfully, efficiently, and privately.
So, what exactly does a mediator do? Let’s walk through the role and process of mediation in BC.
What Is Mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary, confidential process where a neutral third party – the mediator – helps people in conflict communicate and reach their own agreement. Unlike a judge, a mediator doesn’t make decisions. Instead, they guide a structured discussion that helps the parties better understand each other’s concerns, explore solutions, and work toward common ground.
When Is Mediation Used?
Within the family law context, almost any issue can go to mediation. We often see the following issues be resolved at mediation, although this list is certainly not exhaustive:
- Parenting plans (such as weekly or holiday parenting time, allocation of parental responsibilities, conduct around the children, etc.)
- Child support obligations (including arrears and special expenses for the children)
- Debt Division
- Asset Division
- Spousal Support
What Does a Mediator Actually Do?
The mediator’s role is to:
- Remain neutral and impartial
- Create a safe space for open and respectful dialogue
- Help each party clarify their needs and concerns
- Facilitate negotiation and problem-solving
- Assist in drafting a written agreement, if a resolution is reached
The mediator doesn’t give legal advice and won’t decide who’s right or wrong. As mentioned earlier, the mediator doesn’t make decisions. Their sole focus is on helping the parties find a solution they both can live with.
What Does the Mediation Process Look Like?
Here are the steps you can expect to happen for a typical mediation:
Before the Mediation Starts:
- Intake and Preparation
Each party will typically meet separately with the mediator to discuss the issues and ensure that mediation is appropriate (see below for situations where a mediation may not be appropriate). - Agreement to Mediate
A short agreement is signed before the mediation starts to confirm confidentiality and that participation is voluntary.
During the Mediation:
- Collaborative Sessions
With the mediator’s help, the parties identify key issues, express their perspectives, and explore potential solutions. - Negotiation
The mediator helps both sides move from positions to shared interests, working toward resolution. - Resolution
If an agreement is reached, the mediator may help prepare a summary or written agreement. This will be reviewed by your legal counsel (if you have one) before signing.
Why Choose Mediation?
Mediation can offer significant benefits:
- Cost-effective: It is usually far less expensive than going to court.
- Timely: Resolutions often occur within weeks or even days, not months or years (like going to court often does).
- Private and Confidential: Unlike court proceedings, mediation is not public.
- Flexible and Creative: Parties craft their own solutions, rather than having one imposed.
- Preserves Relationships: In our experience, taking a collaborative approach in mediation can help preserve relationships, unlike court which is inherently adversarial by design. Choosing mediation often helps families maintain cordial relationships even post separation – which is particularly valuable for separated couples that still share caretaker roles for their children.
When Mediation May Not Be Appropriate
While mediation works well in many cases, there are situations where it may not be suitable or safe. These include:
1. Power Imbalances or Abuse.
If there is a history of domestic violence, emotional abuse, or coercion, mediation may not be safe or fair. In BC, mediators are trained to screen for these concerns and may decline to proceed if a party cannot participate freely and safely.
2. Lack of Good Faith.
Mediation requires cooperation. If one party is unwilling to engage, uses mediation to delay proceedings, or refuses to compromise, the process is unlikely to succeed.
3. Urgent Legal Relief Needed.
Situations requiring immediate court action—such as protection orders or emergency child safety concerns—should go directly to court.
4. Legal Rights or Precedent Must Be Set.
If a case involves complex legal interpretation, going to court may be necessary.
5. Lack of Capacity.
Mediation depends on informed, voluntary participation. If a party has impaired mental capacity or is under undue influence, mediation should be avoided unless safeguards are in place.
A qualified mediator or lawyer can help assess whether your situation is appropriate for mediation.
Do Mediators Need to Be Lawyers?
Not necessarily. While some mediators are lawyers, others come from backgrounds in social work, psychology, or conflict resolution. What’s important is that the mediator has proper training and experience. In BC, many reputable mediators are listed on the Mediate BC Roster, which sets professional standards and codes of conduct.
That said, in complex legal matters, working with a mediator who is also a trained lawyer—like some lawyers at our firm—can be particularly helpful. We bring both legal insight and expertise in drafting legal agreements, as well as mediation skills to the table.
Do I need a lawyer present at my mediation?
Again, not necessarily. You don’t need a lawyer to attend mediation with you, but as mentioned earlier a mediator is unable to give you legal advice. Their job is not to tell you if the proposal on the table is the best you could get under the law, nor is it the mediator’s job to make sure you get the best possible deal. Only a lawyer can do that.
If you’re involved in a family law dispute, mediation may offer a path forward that avoids the time, cost, and stress of court. A skilled mediator helps people focus on solutions rather than conflict—empowering them to move on with clarity and dignity. Lawyers assist in giving you the knowledge of what is a ‘fair deal’ under our current legal system.
Need Help Navigating a Dispute?
Our team includes trained mediators and legal professionals who can help you explore your options. Contact us today to learn more about whether mediation is right for your situation.
Disclaimer – By contacting Portside Law Corporation through email, phone or direct message does not establish an attorney-client relationship. An attorney-client relationship is formed once both parties agree in writing to such a relationship. The information found in this document is of general nature and is not intended to be legal advice. Please contact our office to speak further about any particular legal question you may have.